I have come to find most aspects of my life to be relatively boring. Routine, day in day out. I live by my planner; I would probably go nuts without it. Yes, I really am that anal about it. My planner has my entire day’s plans in it.
Going back to the point of this, besides going to class and doing homework. I do absolutely nothing of importance. Take today for example. I woke up around 9, my day to sleep in, and went right to the computer to check my e-mail, then I got dressed and went to get breakfast, which I brought back to my room, and ate in front of the computer. The rest of the day went as expected, went to class and did homework. I had a meeting at five, so I thought would get some homework done while snacking on strawberries. The most eventful part of my day was having a melt down over chemistry homework, and calling my Mom in tears.
Granted, you don’t know the stresses of my everyday life, so I figure you probably think that I was over-reacting. Think what you will, after all, I probably was over-reacting. After my melt down, I went to my meeting then returned to my room to fumble over some more chemistry. I was saved by a friend who wanted to go to dinner. But, here I am, after dinner, screwing around on the computer, too annoyed to do chemistry. This is basically my every day. Wake up, go to class, do homework, go to meetings, do more homework, screw around on the computer, then go to sleep.
You would figure that I would go and do things like work out since I am on this new health kick, but as previously stated I am horribly unmotivated. Maybe I need to add some spice into my daily routine besides going to buying fruit?
Everything about this is pretty vague, but there is a reason behind that. This is about my goals, and becoming the person I want to be. To set the record straight, this isn’t a self-help type of deal, I don’t really believe in that type of thing. In all honesty, this is another blog about a person on a “diet”, or what most people would consider to be one. I like to consider it the first step in making a life-long diet change, so that I can live a happy and healthier life.
Before anyone decides to hit that backspace, let me explain. This is not about my weight loss. I have seen what some people have posted about people losing weight, and how cruel people can be. So I am not going to tell you how much I weigh, or how much I lose. There will be no photos of my weight loss progress, no weight loss updates. I am not seeking approval, and I really don’t think that anyone has the right to judge me but myself and if I want to make myself better. Well, than I have every d*mn right to do so.
I guess that could leave one (if anyone actually is reading this) to wonder what this could be about. To be frank, it will be about my daily struggles with this goal. I am an average person. I have time commitments, I have a social life, and to be fair, I am not the single most motivated person in the world. Maybe writing it all down and pretending to tell someone about it will help, will make me strive to write something useful, maybe even something motivational. All in all, I guess you can kind of say this is about my self-journey. Maybe through just one small change in my life will make me an all-around better person. Maybe it will teach me to stop with the “I wish.”-ing and starting saying “I will.”
I can hope, right?
